Got into an argument today with Nikki's uncle. He's trying to tell me I'm not an atheist.First let me say that I'm not ashamed or embarrassed or anything like that, but I tend not to advertise the fact. Largely because it elicits gasps of horrified disbelief, or it leads to incidents such as the one today. I've even lifted the term "radical atheist" from Douglas Adams, which he used "to signal that I really mean it, have thought about it a great deal, and that it's an opinion I hold seriously."
So we're together with Nikki's family for Christmas (I can hear you already: "What's the atheist doing celebrating Christmas?" Well, I wasn't celebrating Christmas, alright? We just get together with the family then because that's the time they choose to gather together from their various corners of Victoria), and the conversation turns, as it is wont to do on this day, to religion.
I can't even remember how it came about. Something about the South Park episode where Family Guy was going to show a picture of Muhammad. This reminded Les, Nik's Uncle, of that "Piss Christ" photograph and how it offended him. My argument was, of course, on the side of freedom of speech: If Andres Serrano wants to plunk a crucifix in a cup of his own urine and photograph it for artistic self-expression, that's one thing. Even if I don't like it, I support his right to do it. However, if he's doing it specifically to get a rise out of people and anger the church, that's another story, and it annoys me even though I'm an atheist.
"Ah, but I don't think you are," says Les.
How do you come back to that? I'm trying to imagine someone saying "I don't think you are Catholic/Muslim/Jewish" or what have you. I was thrown.
"No, I'm an atheist."
"I think you're not."
Now Les is the guy, I've learned, who will argue for the sake of argument. He may agree with you completely, but he will test you because it's fun for him. So you've got to really have your argument worked out. I reckoned I had him simply on etymology alone.
"Les: Polytheists believe in many gods, monotheists believe in one god, atheists believe in no god. I don't believe in god, therefore..."
Not a lot of wiggle room there, but Les comes back with "But where does your moral structure come from?" And he says it with a smile, like the guy, you know, you're playing Connect Four or something and he's just seen that he can win three ways with one move.
Of course by "moral structure" he's talking about you shall not kill, you shall not steal, you shall not covet they neighbour's wife, that sort of thing. But it's long been my argument that the Ten Commandments need not have come from God; they're just kind of logical rules for a civilised society, yeah?
Les is having none of this. Because I haven't killed anyone, apparently I must believe in God. Couldn't possibly be because I know it's wrong.
I had to finally admit that, yes, being brought up in a kind of passive religious household (God exists because that's what we were told, not because we believe), my morals were grounded in religion. But that did not mean that when I found atheism (is that how you say that?), that I suddenly went, "Great, now I can go out and kill and steal and covet!"
"Look, you're confusing morality with religion," I said. "Morality can exist without religion, just as religion - as it's proven so many times throughout the centuries - can exist without morality."
Oooh, that didn't go over very well. But he didn't have a comeback.
